I have Thirteen Days left until I am on a plane coming home.
I have been on countdown since day 45.
I am so close.
Lanie the weight coach liked her cookies. That I baked her and then taped two paper plates together with athletic tape making a nice carton to carry them in. It was a quirky touch. Athletic Coach Athletic Tape. I'm sure you understand this correlation.
The goal was to try to do our circuit so hard we'd throw up. I came close but no cigar. I frankly was disapointed. I totally nearly threw up the first two weeks. I'd dry heave hardcore. so i probably didnt eat enough before i went, or i just have gotten more fit and remember to breathe.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
You're so Vain
I rode my bike to the store again. The 10k on the water was a joke of a workout. we got waked out pretty bad. At one point we stopped because waves came up to our shoulders. Hilary had to bail water out with her water bottle because the whole compartment was swamped. speed boats. and Jet skis. When you see people rowing DO NOT WAKE THEM OUT.
so this being said I biked to the store which i thought was 12 miles but could have been up to 16. yeah round trip its 10. google maps. so much for burning mad calories. It was nice to be free, riding down a two way highway. I bought milk, coke, and cookie mix. Got to talk to sarah long. and then as i was biking back my phone rang and it was my mother. YES. i had called them first and they werent home so i got to talk to my mom and the kids. I must have been a strange sight, standing with a bike talking on a cell on the side of the highway. I am so excited to get back home and ride MY bike "The Tank" and go hang out with my siblings. I proceeded to bike back singing You're So Vain and Killing Me Softly. I got back so late that I had to eat in the dark because all my doublewide mates had gone to bed. Speaking of that. I am excited for my own bed. MY OWN BED. in which i can have the whole thing and not worry about thrashing and kicking Cathrine.
Not getting up at 5:20. i realize that if i was at home i would be getting up this early anyway. practice is at 6:30. I used to get up at 5:20, now my alarm goes off then and I get out of bed 20 minutes later. I'm about to start sleeping in my workout clothing so i can sleep longer. If i didnt have to eat in the morning i would wake up at 6. I always ride my bike to practice so i can leave latter and thus get up later.
Weight Room. We have our last day today, then we are unloading for canadian henley. I am baking the weight coach cookies. Our regular coach asked me on monday during weights what my favorite song is and if it was something by Metallica. "No. Its Killing Me Softly" Apparently this is funny. I do not know why. Maybe because its an analogy for my entire weight room experiance. I did get 30 box jumps. Only once. I am going to try to get that same number today.
Crew is all about being on every single stroke. its about being able to push past the point of pain and give it everything every single stroke. Trying to do this day after day and still not completely getting it is wearing. My pair partner (The wonderful Savage) called me to let me know she was taking skulling lessons and felt my pain and that it was incredible difficult. I am getting better, I crab less, my aerobic capacity I think is getting stronger, My leg muscles are more developed. We had a practice 2k this morning. It was horrible, but we started making good changes to get more run. One thing i will not miss is looking down and seeing white flecks of skin on my JL shorts. blisters are nasty problems.
I might miss living in spandex when i return to my side of the country. I basically have three days worth of clothing that i wear and then wash. I could have left half the clothing I brought with me at home. I will miss this simplistic side to life.
We move out of the doublewide in two days. I probably should start packing. I brought way too much stuff. This has just reinforced that I need to ditch more stuff. I can only have stuff I love. I love the feeling that when all my stuff is messy and all over the place my place is still clean because i have HARDLY ANYTHING.
(this day is coming it has not come yet)
well i need to make cookies. and pack and wash dishes. and get out of crew clothing.
so this being said I biked to the store which i thought was 12 miles but could have been up to 16. yeah round trip its 10. google maps. so much for burning mad calories. It was nice to be free, riding down a two way highway. I bought milk, coke, and cookie mix. Got to talk to sarah long. and then as i was biking back my phone rang and it was my mother. YES. i had called them first and they werent home so i got to talk to my mom and the kids. I must have been a strange sight, standing with a bike talking on a cell on the side of the highway. I am so excited to get back home and ride MY bike "The Tank" and go hang out with my siblings. I proceeded to bike back singing You're So Vain and Killing Me Softly. I got back so late that I had to eat in the dark because all my doublewide mates had gone to bed. Speaking of that. I am excited for my own bed. MY OWN BED. in which i can have the whole thing and not worry about thrashing and kicking Cathrine.
Not getting up at 5:20. i realize that if i was at home i would be getting up this early anyway. practice is at 6:30. I used to get up at 5:20, now my alarm goes off then and I get out of bed 20 minutes later. I'm about to start sleeping in my workout clothing so i can sleep longer. If i didnt have to eat in the morning i would wake up at 6. I always ride my bike to practice so i can leave latter and thus get up later.
Weight Room. We have our last day today, then we are unloading for canadian henley. I am baking the weight coach cookies. Our regular coach asked me on monday during weights what my favorite song is and if it was something by Metallica. "No. Its Killing Me Softly" Apparently this is funny. I do not know why. Maybe because its an analogy for my entire weight room experiance. I did get 30 box jumps. Only once. I am going to try to get that same number today.
Crew is all about being on every single stroke. its about being able to push past the point of pain and give it everything every single stroke. Trying to do this day after day and still not completely getting it is wearing. My pair partner (The wonderful Savage) called me to let me know she was taking skulling lessons and felt my pain and that it was incredible difficult. I am getting better, I crab less, my aerobic capacity I think is getting stronger, My leg muscles are more developed. We had a practice 2k this morning. It was horrible, but we started making good changes to get more run. One thing i will not miss is looking down and seeing white flecks of skin on my JL shorts. blisters are nasty problems.
I might miss living in spandex when i return to my side of the country. I basically have three days worth of clothing that i wear and then wash. I could have left half the clothing I brought with me at home. I will miss this simplistic side to life.
We move out of the doublewide in two days. I probably should start packing. I brought way too much stuff. This has just reinforced that I need to ditch more stuff. I can only have stuff I love. I love the feeling that when all my stuff is messy and all over the place my place is still clean because i have HARDLY ANYTHING.
(this day is coming it has not come yet)
well i need to make cookies. and pack and wash dishes. and get out of crew clothing.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Church
I went to church again. I love it there. it is so wonderful. I officially have met the majority of everyone. I went to the potluck afterward and hung out with a girl my age who is joining the Airforce with her husband next month. If she gets assigned to McChord that will be cool, because i will go visit her. I was going to visit the flight attendant i met coming back from dad vail in May when I was in Philly (where she is based out of) a month ago but She was flying into Frankfurt and wouldnt get back until after i left. It was sad.
I also got several offers to be hosted if i came back next summer. I dont plan on returning to Indiana, but if i do...
I made cookies after getting back from church and shared them and eventually ate enough to get sick, while watching the Listener and convincing one of my friends that Smooth Criminal music video has some of the greatest dance moves ever. I think I convinced her. since Michael Jackson's death I have discovered his amazing dance moves and I wish i could dance. between dancing and singing? dancing. dancing and crew? that one is still up for debate. dancing is awesome.
Back to church. I like it and am very sad I didnt get to spend more time with the congregation. 3/4th of them are related, they are very kind, friendly, loving people and I definately picked the right church to go to for the few sundays i have been here. Unionville Church of Christ is where its at.
I also got several offers to be hosted if i came back next summer. I dont plan on returning to Indiana, but if i do...
I made cookies after getting back from church and shared them and eventually ate enough to get sick, while watching the Listener and convincing one of my friends that Smooth Criminal music video has some of the greatest dance moves ever. I think I convinced her. since Michael Jackson's death I have discovered his amazing dance moves and I wish i could dance. between dancing and singing? dancing. dancing and crew? that one is still up for debate. dancing is awesome.
Back to church. I like it and am very sad I didnt get to spend more time with the congregation. 3/4th of them are related, they are very kind, friendly, loving people and I definately picked the right church to go to for the few sundays i have been here. Unionville Church of Christ is where its at.
So this girl walks into a bar...ouch
So yesterday one of the things i planned because i had no plans and life was very boring (except for the fact that i went biking, and then ate ben and jerrys while watching too much tv) was to go to the porthole. the local bar. which everyone asks if we've been to. apparently it is a happening place. I needed to see it for myself.
After trying to convince everyone to go with me and totally failing, I managed to talk Johnna into going today after she finished a soul crushing paper for some online class. The paper wore her down into saying yes. and the fact i baked cookies and shared them and that she is a good person. back to the Porthole Bar. we walked the quarter of mile to there. Lots of motorcyles outside. when there is only one bar in a very big radius i think the bar has to double as the cool place to be.
We went and got carded for our cokes, ordered poppers and mozzerella sticks which probably tasted better if we were inebriated, (we cant drink at this camp so thus the cokes, but i dont drink anyway so thus the coke.) and talked about life. while all the while i plotted how awesome my blog about this was going to be. sadly its fallen a little short of my expectations. The bar filled up while we were chit chatting about life, our coaches, how things were progressing. I'd like to think that as girls who had never been seen there we were the topic of every one's conversation. This probably is not true. we probably had snagged someone's favorite spot at the bar and they were probably not happy about it. the place had lots of nascar flags and stuff and kareokee doesnt start till next month. I know because i asked. yes, thats right, I asked about kareokee even though i cant sing. I was going to bank on them being drunk'ed. I'm pretty sure it was going to be the major event of my summer --even bigger than the chipmonk. most of my summer has been spent on hypothosizing on what could or would have been awesome or what i could do to make my loyal readers of this blog excited to read the drivel that I post.
so yeah. that was my porthole experience, when i was outside leaving I snapped a picture to upload to my blog which i probably wont (because that involves finding my camera cord and I dont want to go look for it.) One of the guys said that since i did that i had to go for a ride on his harley, but he didnt have a helmet so i declined. I probably should have though, for a indianaian cultural experience. but he was old and kind of creepy looking from faraway. Oh well. --What i really am thinking is DANGIT. this would have been PERFECT for my blog. it is all about the blog.
I am now going to go watch more tv until i figure out to do something else blog worthy.
After trying to convince everyone to go with me and totally failing, I managed to talk Johnna into going today after she finished a soul crushing paper for some online class. The paper wore her down into saying yes. and the fact i baked cookies and shared them and that she is a good person. back to the Porthole Bar. we walked the quarter of mile to there. Lots of motorcyles outside. when there is only one bar in a very big radius i think the bar has to double as the cool place to be.
We went and got carded for our cokes, ordered poppers and mozzerella sticks which probably tasted better if we were inebriated, (we cant drink at this camp so thus the cokes, but i dont drink anyway so thus the coke.) and talked about life. while all the while i plotted how awesome my blog about this was going to be. sadly its fallen a little short of my expectations. The bar filled up while we were chit chatting about life, our coaches, how things were progressing. I'd like to think that as girls who had never been seen there we were the topic of every one's conversation. This probably is not true. we probably had snagged someone's favorite spot at the bar and they were probably not happy about it. the place had lots of nascar flags and stuff and kareokee doesnt start till next month. I know because i asked. yes, thats right, I asked about kareokee even though i cant sing. I was going to bank on them being drunk'ed. I'm pretty sure it was going to be the major event of my summer --even bigger than the chipmonk. most of my summer has been spent on hypothosizing on what could or would have been awesome or what i could do to make my loyal readers of this blog excited to read the drivel that I post.
so yeah. that was my porthole experience, when i was outside leaving I snapped a picture to upload to my blog which i probably wont (because that involves finding my camera cord and I dont want to go look for it.) One of the guys said that since i did that i had to go for a ride on his harley, but he didnt have a helmet so i declined. I probably should have though, for a indianaian cultural experience. but he was old and kind of creepy looking from faraway. Oh well. --What i really am thinking is DANGIT. this would have been PERFECT for my blog. it is all about the blog.
I am now going to go watch more tv until i figure out to do something else blog worthy.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Afternoon Off
today i made several bad decisions. bad as in: what a way to waste a saturday. well I'll never get that back. I started watching a tv series on hulu i managed to watch 8 episodes today. but then i sorta got sick of it so i probably am done watching it forever. This happens to me everyonce in a while. Freshman year everymorning i ate eggs for breakfast, which are healthy and full of protein. sometime during spring quarter i walked over to get eggs, looked down and could not scoop those aweful things onto my plate. i have since never eatten qwinn eggs. I might have tried but I cant recall that i did. so watching this tv series was like that. OD on something and eventually you cant do it any more. On more interesting tv news all of the listener season one episodes are on hulu so i can watch the remaining five to my hearts content.
In other news The bike that I broke several weeks ago. Was wonderfully fixed today by one of the family members i met after church two weeks ago. I "fixed" the bike and the back wheel fell off. I was going to have to take it into town and pay to get it fixed. so this was an extreamly wonderful blessing.
After hanging around the double wide for far too long I decided to make an ardous journey for junk food. I'm anywhere from 6-8 miles from the nearest store. and I had to go up three miles of hill to get out. and usually i am too tired to go anywhere. or rather I have two work outs a day and dont have time to watch tv, eat food, and take naps. But i made the push up the hill. let me tell you 6 miles is a looooong way. especially if its rolling hills. however i managed to get myself to a small country store and wander around. somethings are cheap like a bottle of pop for 59cents other things no so much. i picked a couple things out with the not guilt ridden conscience because i biked 6 miles to get there. They surprisingly had Ben and Jerry's but not my favorite flavor. Which is cherry garcia. such a travesty.
the feeling biking down the 3 mile hill was a complete rush. the feeling of free falling, going faster then possible on your own. and knowing if you dont take the hill (especially the curves)the right way you could die. its amazing. rushing down the hill at the speed of fast. its also nice to have brakes, if you need to use them.
so that is what i have been up to. biking to the store, eatting to much junkfood, and watching tv.
In other news The bike that I broke several weeks ago. Was wonderfully fixed today by one of the family members i met after church two weeks ago. I "fixed" the bike and the back wheel fell off. I was going to have to take it into town and pay to get it fixed. so this was an extreamly wonderful blessing.
After hanging around the double wide for far too long I decided to make an ardous journey for junk food. I'm anywhere from 6-8 miles from the nearest store. and I had to go up three miles of hill to get out. and usually i am too tired to go anywhere. or rather I have two work outs a day and dont have time to watch tv, eat food, and take naps. But i made the push up the hill. let me tell you 6 miles is a looooong way. especially if its rolling hills. however i managed to get myself to a small country store and wander around. somethings are cheap like a bottle of pop for 59cents other things no so much. i picked a couple things out with the not guilt ridden conscience because i biked 6 miles to get there. They surprisingly had Ben and Jerry's but not my favorite flavor. Which is cherry garcia. such a travesty.
the feeling biking down the 3 mile hill was a complete rush. the feeling of free falling, going faster then possible on your own. and knowing if you dont take the hill (especially the curves)the right way you could die. its amazing. rushing down the hill at the speed of fast. its also nice to have brakes, if you need to use them.
so that is what i have been up to. biking to the store, eatting to much junkfood, and watching tv.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Its not all fun
there are days that are harder to live through than others. Today is one of them. I have decided to not go to "optional" yoga. I am going to take a personal day and try to recover my mental and emotional stability.
This whole experiance has been extremely wearing. I do not know if i would have chose it if i knew how emotionally difficult it was going to be. At the same time, the only way to gain patience is to have it tried. I think having emotional/mental strength is the same way.
I sat on the erg for 36 minutes not holding splits and nearly started sobbing during the piece(this was after a 36 minute frustrating row on the water). Having to tell myself pull it together, Jesus has not left you, you will be done soon. Then after it is over you can not allow the experaince to come back and torment you. I face the fear of having to do that again and failing again. I have to tell myself "No. you are not allowed to go there."
In the words of Lily Allen:
I don`t know what`s right and what`s real anymore
I don`t know how I`m meant to feel anymore
When we think it will all become clear
`Cuz I`m being taken over by The Fear
Fear is a powerful emotion. False Evidence Appearing Real. that is an acronym btdub. In essense its a lie. Maybe even a true fact. Its something that i have been fighting for nearly 6 weeks. i am tired. But i will not give up. You can crush me, but you cant destroy me. this is sparta.
This whole experiance has been extremely wearing. I do not know if i would have chose it if i knew how emotionally difficult it was going to be. At the same time, the only way to gain patience is to have it tried. I think having emotional/mental strength is the same way.
I sat on the erg for 36 minutes not holding splits and nearly started sobbing during the piece(this was after a 36 minute frustrating row on the water). Having to tell myself pull it together, Jesus has not left you, you will be done soon. Then after it is over you can not allow the experaince to come back and torment you. I face the fear of having to do that again and failing again. I have to tell myself "No. you are not allowed to go there."
In the words of Lily Allen:
I don`t know what`s right and what`s real anymore
I don`t know how I`m meant to feel anymore
When we think it will all become clear
`Cuz I`m being taken over by The Fear
Fear is a powerful emotion. False Evidence Appearing Real. that is an acronym btdub. In essense its a lie. Maybe even a true fact. Its something that i have been fighting for nearly 6 weeks. i am tired. But i will not give up. You can crush me, but you cant destroy me. this is sparta.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
the dawning of a new era
It has been quite a while since i have let the world in on the fabulous adventures that has befallen me.
Chipmonk drama:
Miranda had opened the door to the double wide to take things to the car and he the Chipmonk ran into the house, under Helen's chair I screll and run for my bedroom, Hilary ends up on a rocking chair and rachael is on one of the dining room chairs, the chipmonk runs into shay's foot (who is unfazed by the chipmonk) and I think he escapes to under the kitchen sink again. So I'm glad i'm not the only one who reacts badly to it. In my defense, he could have some disease and by climbing onto my bed, I am less likely to get it. maybe.
Tennessee Accomadations:
I am in and have been in tennesee for the past four days. I have traded my trailer for a hotel room. Better than the frat. (I secretly liked the frat because it had character and it was so aweful it was funny--I would be killed if I voiced this opinion to teammates) The hotel is nice, some one changes our bedding, towels, takes out the trash. room service is nice. There are washers available so I did laundry yesterday. I had forgotten my detergent back in Indiana but I being the creative resourceful reader of cheapskate monthly that I am used complimentary shampoo and washed my clothing. AND IT WORKED!! so if you ever do not have detergent try shampoo.
Racing:
Always a favorite subject. The doubles catagory had 36 entries. My partner and I did not have a good race, it was quite frusterating. We came in 25th but we should have placed top 12 (imho). Technique went out the window and we did not preform well. The quad did better we placed 3rd in our heat to garner a seat in the final. The final was today. It was painful. It was hard. I had the feeling of: Why do i do this? I hate this. This is not true but it gets so hard that those thoughts come. Not having a cox is one of the more difficult aspects of switching from sweep to skulling. I like being able to hear someone verbalizing things. I not supposed to talk in the boat but it is so much easier when someone else is. I dont have someone to say words to me.
we were even with third place going into our sprint. Became frantic and when we needed ten good strokes we had ten bad ones and missed third. Defeat was snatched from the jaws of victory. This is the second time I have pulled down a 4th place at an important regatta (dad vail with SPU's eight was the other one) and it is not a pleasent feeling especially when I feel like i HAD it. I have worked so hard to keep calm and not let anxiety take control of my mind and for 1750 meters i had it. and in the last 250 I lost it. It wasnt totally my fault that we lost 3rd. However I definately contributed to it.
I basically have gone through the five stages of grief. from the last ten strokes in denial to now. I am now in acceptance mode. It was a great race. It was my best one yet. I am improving. I am getting better with each race. Hey Jude just came on my pandora. All my SPU team mates especially the Savy know that this song for me is very comforting. Its like a huge inside joke for the crazy four. "Then you can start to make it better" I needed that. Thank you God and pandora.
TV
For the past two weeks I have decended into TV watching idolatry I am up to 13 subscriptions on hulu. That is pretty bad. That needs to stop. I am going to try to read through the new and old testament in the 25 days i have left here. cutting my tv watching down to one show per day. Not like the 4-8 I've been at. I think it is a form of escapism. So now it is time to finish reading the books I brought with me. Faithfulness. It's an easy road to get off and stall on.
So thats it. I will head back to the double wide tomorrow for two more weeks there until I head out to canadian Henley. Two teammates are done tomorrow and we get joined by two new ones. I am excited about new friends. New people are always good.
Chipmonk drama:
Miranda had opened the door to the double wide to take things to the car and he the Chipmonk ran into the house, under Helen's chair I screll and run for my bedroom, Hilary ends up on a rocking chair and rachael is on one of the dining room chairs, the chipmonk runs into shay's foot (who is unfazed by the chipmonk) and I think he escapes to under the kitchen sink again. So I'm glad i'm not the only one who reacts badly to it. In my defense, he could have some disease and by climbing onto my bed, I am less likely to get it. maybe.
Tennessee Accomadations:
I am in and have been in tennesee for the past four days. I have traded my trailer for a hotel room. Better than the frat. (I secretly liked the frat because it had character and it was so aweful it was funny--I would be killed if I voiced this opinion to teammates) The hotel is nice, some one changes our bedding, towels, takes out the trash. room service is nice. There are washers available so I did laundry yesterday. I had forgotten my detergent back in Indiana but I being the creative resourceful reader of cheapskate monthly that I am used complimentary shampoo and washed my clothing. AND IT WORKED!! so if you ever do not have detergent try shampoo.
Racing:
Always a favorite subject. The doubles catagory had 36 entries. My partner and I did not have a good race, it was quite frusterating. We came in 25th but we should have placed top 12 (imho). Technique went out the window and we did not preform well. The quad did better we placed 3rd in our heat to garner a seat in the final. The final was today. It was painful. It was hard. I had the feeling of: Why do i do this? I hate this. This is not true but it gets so hard that those thoughts come. Not having a cox is one of the more difficult aspects of switching from sweep to skulling. I like being able to hear someone verbalizing things. I not supposed to talk in the boat but it is so much easier when someone else is. I dont have someone to say words to me.
we were even with third place going into our sprint. Became frantic and when we needed ten good strokes we had ten bad ones and missed third. Defeat was snatched from the jaws of victory. This is the second time I have pulled down a 4th place at an important regatta (dad vail with SPU's eight was the other one) and it is not a pleasent feeling especially when I feel like i HAD it. I have worked so hard to keep calm and not let anxiety take control of my mind and for 1750 meters i had it. and in the last 250 I lost it. It wasnt totally my fault that we lost 3rd. However I definately contributed to it.
I basically have gone through the five stages of grief. from the last ten strokes in denial to now. I am now in acceptance mode. It was a great race. It was my best one yet. I am improving. I am getting better with each race. Hey Jude just came on my pandora. All my SPU team mates especially the Savy know that this song for me is very comforting. Its like a huge inside joke for the crazy four. "Then you can start to make it better" I needed that. Thank you God and pandora.
TV
For the past two weeks I have decended into TV watching idolatry I am up to 13 subscriptions on hulu. That is pretty bad. That needs to stop. I am going to try to read through the new and old testament in the 25 days i have left here. cutting my tv watching down to one show per day. Not like the 4-8 I've been at. I think it is a form of escapism. So now it is time to finish reading the books I brought with me. Faithfulness. It's an easy road to get off and stall on.
So thats it. I will head back to the double wide tomorrow for two more weeks there until I head out to canadian Henley. Two teammates are done tomorrow and we get joined by two new ones. I am excited about new friends. New people are always good.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Blessings
Today when I woke up I decided I was definately going to go to church so I walked up a three mile hill and went to a small country church. sat in on of the back rows and quickly met everyone with in handshaking radius. I was new and every one around here knows about the rowing camp, so i was a mini celebrity.
After church (which was wonderful just singing songs and listening to a sermon on being chosen by God was enough to make my day) I started back home down the three mile hill, and was stopped by a van driven by a sweet lady asking if i wanted a ride. She and her family owned a guest cottage, which I and several of the girls stopped by nearly a month ago to ask questions. They remembered me! and had seen me at church. so I climbed in got myself invited to a family birthday party.
So i went to a family birthday party, hung out eatting pizza, cake, & ice cream. On the drive back I got the whole history of the area and mentioned I had wanted a bike but didnt have one. So they gave me a bike and left over cake. When they heard I didnt have cell service and couldnt call my mom? come stop by our house and use our phone anytime you want.
Everything I wanted so bad I got in a matter of hours. a bike, a phone line, hanging out with kids/a family it just HAPPENED.
Indiana country hospitality. what can I say? God is good. He's always blessed me.
After church (which was wonderful just singing songs and listening to a sermon on being chosen by God was enough to make my day) I started back home down the three mile hill, and was stopped by a van driven by a sweet lady asking if i wanted a ride. She and her family owned a guest cottage, which I and several of the girls stopped by nearly a month ago to ask questions. They remembered me! and had seen me at church. so I climbed in got myself invited to a family birthday party.
So i went to a family birthday party, hung out eatting pizza, cake, & ice cream. On the drive back I got the whole history of the area and mentioned I had wanted a bike but didnt have one. So they gave me a bike and left over cake. When they heard I didnt have cell service and couldnt call my mom? come stop by our house and use our phone anytime you want.
Everything I wanted so bad I got in a matter of hours. a bike, a phone line, hanging out with kids/a family it just HAPPENED.
Indiana country hospitality. what can I say? God is good. He's always blessed me.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
keeping on
There is not much to say. I go to practice everyday. Try my hardest. Feel like it wasnt good enough. and then show up for the next practice. repeat repeat repeat. It becomes an act of the will. I will say that it is hard to stay focused all the time. Every move I make is being monitored. On top of it all the time. Its mentally wearing. all the time: Control. Awareness. Intentionality. Power. Technique. Faster.
Today i was told I need a little more crazy.
it is always something.
--Weights is getting easier (i can do more reps per minute). There I am making verifiable progress.
I have the rest of today and all day tomorrow off so i think i will make progress on my book pile because there is only so much facebook/tving one can do before the brain esplodes.
Today i was told I need a little more crazy.
it is always something.
--Weights is getting easier (i can do more reps per minute). There I am making verifiable progress.
I have the rest of today and all day tomorrow off so i think i will make progress on my book pile because there is only so much facebook/tving one can do before the brain esplodes.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
An intruder
And the big news is that prior to today (meaning yesterday) Helen who was sick at home from practice reported to us when we returned that there was an intruder in our double wide. it was a chipmonk. I thought she might have been a delusional from her fever. No one else had seen it.
BUT today Rachel spotted the nasty creature IN MY ROOM and I being brave ran in to get it out and then i ran screaming out when i found it behind my computer case. while it scrat under my bed! Rachel and Hilary declined helping me to smite Alvin The Really Ugly Chipmonk That Has A Tail. I did not know they had tails.(Hilary told me to open a window, as if it would jump out. HA.)
HOWEVER, Miranda came to my aide and we smoked it out (that is figuratively) meaning she found it and i screlled (scream + yell: -a loud deep scream) and hopped the barrier we had created to channel Alvin out the door and into the wide wide world where chipmonks can live free of Emilys. Then Miranda chased it and it bypassed the barrier by crawling into a hole it priorly created and is now under the kitchen sink.
so that was successful. it is out of my room.
More details to follow if anyone opens the doors to under the kitchen sink.
BUT today Rachel spotted the nasty creature IN MY ROOM and I being brave ran in to get it out and then i ran screaming out when i found it behind my computer case. while it scrat under my bed! Rachel and Hilary declined helping me to smite Alvin The Really Ugly Chipmonk That Has A Tail. I did not know they had tails.(Hilary told me to open a window, as if it would jump out. HA.)
HOWEVER, Miranda came to my aide and we smoked it out (that is figuratively) meaning she found it and i screlled (scream + yell: -a loud deep scream) and hopped the barrier we had created to channel Alvin out the door and into the wide wide world where chipmonks can live free of Emilys. Then Miranda chased it and it bypassed the barrier by crawling into a hole it priorly created and is now under the kitchen sink.
so that was successful. it is out of my room.
More details to follow if anyone opens the doors to under the kitchen sink.
Free Stuff
The cool thing about free stuff is: Its free. and sometimes its awesome.
Yesterday I got more gear. So far I have received:
2 pairs of red adidas basketball shorts
3 pairs of adidas soccer shorts
2 Pre-elite shirts
1 adidas shirt
1 pair of JL shorts
a lot of Liquid Gold Organic Energy
so thats really cool. better than a thrift store. meaning its free --but not weirdly awesome and a good deal. like that fugly brown plaid jumper for $2.50.
THIS IS SHAMELESS PROMO
((pay attention))
Liquid Gold is a Rapid carb energy source for endurance athletics. Its organic and its based on blackstrap molassas and Honey. Full of vitamins and nutrients. So if you like goo or gels for training, races, games look in to it at: http://liquidgoldenergy.com/
What I am at is the Liquid Gold Training Center and This company donates money to the camp I am at. The more people buy, the more they donate. The more they donate the less participants will have to pay. so....
BUY LIQUID GOLD.
And I am up to 26 box jumps in a minute. my goal is 30. 4 away. I'm at 2.3076 seconds per jump. I am nearly there. There is progress.
Yesterday I got more gear. So far I have received:
2 pairs of red adidas basketball shorts
3 pairs of adidas soccer shorts
2 Pre-elite shirts
1 adidas shirt
1 pair of JL shorts
a lot of Liquid Gold Organic Energy
so thats really cool. better than a thrift store. meaning its free --but not weirdly awesome and a good deal. like that fugly brown plaid jumper for $2.50.
THIS IS SHAMELESS PROMO
((pay attention))
Liquid Gold is a Rapid carb energy source for endurance athletics. Its organic and its based on blackstrap molassas and Honey. Full of vitamins and nutrients. So if you like goo or gels for training, races, games look in to it at: http://liquidgoldenergy.com/
What I am at is the Liquid Gold Training Center and This company donates money to the camp I am at. The more people buy, the more they donate. The more they donate the less participants will have to pay. so....
BUY LIQUID GOLD.
And I am up to 26 box jumps in a minute. my goal is 30. 4 away. I'm at 2.3076 seconds per jump. I am nearly there. There is progress.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Peace, Be Still
One practice down, one left to go.
I actually was looking forward to practice today. I felt that I had a turning point on sunday/monday. Its time to kick anxiety back to hell.
So today was better it really well. There were a couple moments that were not so good, but i chanted "Peace, Be Still" and this helps. So when the anxiety threatens to rear its ugly head i just talk myself through it and I was able to stay calm. Hopefully form with follow soon. out of 15 3minute sets I'd say a third of them were good.
Improving, keeping my peace, staying strong. Conquering.
this is where its at.
---I also kind of miss the philly frat house. Well I miss the cell service. and the shops so close down the street. and the cheaper food. and the vespoli mens boats, and thats about it. its back to the sticks for two weeks until oakridge.
I actually was looking forward to practice today. I felt that I had a turning point on sunday/monday. Its time to kick anxiety back to hell.
So today was better it really well. There were a couple moments that were not so good, but i chanted "Peace, Be Still" and this helps. So when the anxiety threatens to rear its ugly head i just talk myself through it and I was able to stay calm. Hopefully form with follow soon. out of 15 3minute sets I'd say a third of them were good.
Improving, keeping my peace, staying strong. Conquering.
this is where its at.
---I also kind of miss the philly frat house. Well I miss the cell service. and the shops so close down the street. and the cheaper food. and the vespoli mens boats, and thats about it. its back to the sticks for two weeks until oakridge.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Racing.
I know people will want to know so i will talk about it.
IT WAS WORSE THAN I COULD EVER HAVE IMAGINED.
Actually I have an overly active imagination, so this is probably not true. (We did not flip.) We DFL'ed and it was bad. Two show stopping places that were verifiable terrible. I actually thought to myself during the sprint, I have got to make this better and I was unable to rescue it. But I was in control of everything I did, so I probably could have done something different.
There is one positive thing to come from this. The first thousand was relatively good. I kept wondering why was it the first half that i was okay. and the second half that I usually rock, why was that so bad? Then I realized All my other races I always have my faith very involved. But today as soon as we hit a rough spot around the thousand My faith was out of the boat and anxiety took over and I accepted it and went with it. I cant row from anxiety, not well. Every erg test i have ever taken that anxiety was allowed to linger in my mind resulted in things bad.
This race was so bad that afterward I went crying to God asking if I was really supposed to be here. Yes. Yes I am supposed to be here. This summer isn't about rowing as much as it is about learning peace. I have got to learn to live life centered in peace. Why are there so many mental disorders? Why are so many people on anti-depressants? I think it has to do with the mental battle we all face. Where the mind goes the man follows. I have been fighting against fear, anxiety, doubt, worry, feelings of failure, hardcore failure. I have allowed my body to follow my mind. I re-read a blog posting I wrote shortly after finishing crew with SPU. How as a team we rowed from a place of peace and confidence in each other. When I lose this base my performance slips it is because the body has followed the mind.
So what am I going to do? I am going to get ready for it. This is war.
The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Phil 4:5b-7
Once during an erg test I started to mentally lose it and I said in my head, "God I dont think I can do this." and I heard the following words: I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU OR FORSAKE YOU. and i heard this two more times during that test and I got my best erg score ever. Because when the Lord is at hand I do not have to be anxious for anything. He's here. Its going to be okay. I have experienced this.
This is what I know this is what I will do. Next time in the double the coach will never tell me it looked like I stopped racing.
that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God;
0 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.
Walk through the competition. --Amy Burns
IT WAS WORSE THAN I COULD EVER HAVE IMAGINED.
Actually I have an overly active imagination, so this is probably not true. (We did not flip.) We DFL'ed and it was bad. Two show stopping places that were verifiable terrible. I actually thought to myself during the sprint, I have got to make this better and I was unable to rescue it. But I was in control of everything I did, so I probably could have done something different.
There is one positive thing to come from this. The first thousand was relatively good. I kept wondering why was it the first half that i was okay. and the second half that I usually rock, why was that so bad? Then I realized All my other races I always have my faith very involved. But today as soon as we hit a rough spot around the thousand My faith was out of the boat and anxiety took over and I accepted it and went with it. I cant row from anxiety, not well. Every erg test i have ever taken that anxiety was allowed to linger in my mind resulted in things bad.
This race was so bad that afterward I went crying to God asking if I was really supposed to be here. Yes. Yes I am supposed to be here. This summer isn't about rowing as much as it is about learning peace. I have got to learn to live life centered in peace. Why are there so many mental disorders? Why are so many people on anti-depressants? I think it has to do with the mental battle we all face. Where the mind goes the man follows. I have been fighting against fear, anxiety, doubt, worry, feelings of failure, hardcore failure. I have allowed my body to follow my mind. I re-read a blog posting I wrote shortly after finishing crew with SPU. How as a team we rowed from a place of peace and confidence in each other. When I lose this base my performance slips it is because the body has followed the mind.
So what am I going to do? I am going to get ready for it. This is war.
The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Phil 4:5b-7
Once during an erg test I started to mentally lose it and I said in my head, "God I dont think I can do this." and I heard the following words: I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU OR FORSAKE YOU. and i heard this two more times during that test and I got my best erg score ever. Because when the Lord is at hand I do not have to be anxious for anything. He's here. Its going to be okay. I have experienced this.
This is what I know this is what I will do. Next time in the double the coach will never tell me it looked like I stopped racing.
that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God;
0 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.
Walk through the competition. --Amy Burns
Friday, July 3, 2009
Holding on To Joy
I keep thinking this to myself: My joy cannot be dependant upon circumstances. Joy must be held onto even when things suck. This is a difficult thing to learn. Today practice was not good. Wind, current, bouts of anxiety and fear (there are bridges to hit and oars to lose)you know...circumstances. Just because the circumstances change that does not mean rowing form can change or that it should go bad. This could be an analogy for life.
I have the rest of the day off so I am going to go do the most important thing to do in philly (besides go to trader joes which is what I did yesterday). I am going to see transformers! Because one thing that can cheer me up is explosions. Nick the rower who is also living at the frat house said that the only good thing about Transformers is Megan Fox and Explosions and because I dont care about Megan Fox, explosions are now where its at. but i love Shia Lebouf so that should be a close second.
i would also like to announce that mental training is a big deal. and that if your mind isnt disciplined life is going to be rough. shooting down evil crazy thoughts one by one. Because the fear and the anxiety do come, but ultimately its what you do with it. Hold on or kick it out?
I have the rest of the day off so I am going to go do the most important thing to do in philly (besides go to trader joes which is what I did yesterday). I am going to see transformers! Because one thing that can cheer me up is explosions. Nick the rower who is also living at the frat house said that the only good thing about Transformers is Megan Fox and Explosions and because I dont care about Megan Fox, explosions are now where its at. but i love Shia Lebouf so that should be a close second.
i would also like to announce that mental training is a big deal. and that if your mind isnt disciplined life is going to be rough. shooting down evil crazy thoughts one by one. Because the fear and the anxiety do come, but ultimately its what you do with it. Hold on or kick it out?
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
uuuuugh.
I just did video review, the coach sent us back to the frat with the video camera of practice today.
It was not pretty.
I have a lot of work to do.
a lot.
good thing there is tomorrow.
and 40 more of them.
It was not pretty.
I have a lot of work to do.
a lot.
good thing there is tomorrow.
and 40 more of them.
A Good Row
SUCCESS!
I found a penny today, and a penny yesterday on the way to work out. This is a sign. Pennies are change. Change is good. Good is what I need.
This is day 17. Or rather I have 40 days left. Today after flipping a double (it is one thing to flip a single and get yourself wet, it is another matter to flip with someone else and get someone else wet. –it was my fault) I came here to learn how to skull not drag someone into the water with me. After that mishap we had a fairly good day. For some reason things just started clicking. I guess I hit bottom and it was time to start coming back up. YES. Finally.
In my brain this is what is sounds like trying to incorporate everything I have learned (especially rowing with the legs not back or arms.): legs, Legs, LEGS!!! Horizontal arms, shallow blades, swing with the back, AFTER the legs, sloooooooow up the slide, finesse the blades, DRIVE Impulse with LEGS LEGS LEGS. Rate. Keep on the rhythm. Hard on port, hard on starboard, and so it goes. Its one thing after another.
So today it clicked and it was good and hopefully tomorrow will be a repeat. Giving up and quitting has never been an option, although at times I wanted to really really badly. However I tell my emotions where to get off, its not the other way around. So it’s nice to have a good day after 16 days of hoping and believing for one. Perseverance will take someone a long way.
Box Jumps and More Determination
I would also like to report that my bruises are starting to fade, and that my fear of box jumps is diminishing. I hate jumping. I do not like it. But first day at weights they pull out the box jumps. A minute of as many as possible. Two sets. I really really wanted to FREAK out and refuse. However I can’t just refuse to not do things. Box jumps are getting a little less frightening. I still do not like them, it’s the idea that I if I don’t jump high enough I will catch my feet on the box and fall face first over the top of the box. I have found that will power, not thinking too much about it, and just doing it makes it easier. My goal is 30 in a minute.
BOATHOUSE ROW
I am rowing out of the Penn Boat House. It is an hour walk from the frat house. We walk in the mornings (two hours of walking, estimated 2 hours of workout ) Since we practice later in the day we have the opportunity to tan so much better than in indiana. I am golden brown.
We get to row vespoli men’s doubles. Amazing big boats. So nice to row in. Its on the skugal river. Its not spelled that way. SPU came out here for the Dad Vail Regatta in May. Its nice to be familiar with the river and how it is set up before coming. Its not a straight course, there is a bend. It makes me miss Annie the coxswain and her amazing steering ability. There are also bridge pilings, and other boats, and the shore. Wonderful things to try to avoid. Being in bow was a constant panic attack. Thankfully I was moved to stroke. I think the previous sentence was the reason.
So tomorrow the goal is to go out on the skugal and do it again. Better than today.
I found a penny today, and a penny yesterday on the way to work out. This is a sign. Pennies are change. Change is good. Good is what I need.
This is day 17. Or rather I have 40 days left. Today after flipping a double (it is one thing to flip a single and get yourself wet, it is another matter to flip with someone else and get someone else wet. –it was my fault) I came here to learn how to skull not drag someone into the water with me. After that mishap we had a fairly good day. For some reason things just started clicking. I guess I hit bottom and it was time to start coming back up. YES. Finally.
In my brain this is what is sounds like trying to incorporate everything I have learned (especially rowing with the legs not back or arms.): legs, Legs, LEGS!!! Horizontal arms, shallow blades, swing with the back, AFTER the legs, sloooooooow up the slide, finesse the blades, DRIVE Impulse with LEGS LEGS LEGS. Rate. Keep on the rhythm. Hard on port, hard on starboard, and so it goes. Its one thing after another.
So today it clicked and it was good and hopefully tomorrow will be a repeat. Giving up and quitting has never been an option, although at times I wanted to really really badly. However I tell my emotions where to get off, its not the other way around. So it’s nice to have a good day after 16 days of hoping and believing for one. Perseverance will take someone a long way.
Box Jumps and More Determination
I would also like to report that my bruises are starting to fade, and that my fear of box jumps is diminishing. I hate jumping. I do not like it. But first day at weights they pull out the box jumps. A minute of as many as possible. Two sets. I really really wanted to FREAK out and refuse. However I can’t just refuse to not do things. Box jumps are getting a little less frightening. I still do not like them, it’s the idea that I if I don’t jump high enough I will catch my feet on the box and fall face first over the top of the box. I have found that will power, not thinking too much about it, and just doing it makes it easier. My goal is 30 in a minute.
BOATHOUSE ROW
I am rowing out of the Penn Boat House. It is an hour walk from the frat house. We walk in the mornings (two hours of walking, estimated 2 hours of workout ) Since we practice later in the day we have the opportunity to tan so much better than in indiana. I am golden brown.
We get to row vespoli men’s doubles. Amazing big boats. So nice to row in. Its on the skugal river. Its not spelled that way. SPU came out here for the Dad Vail Regatta in May. Its nice to be familiar with the river and how it is set up before coming. Its not a straight course, there is a bend. It makes me miss Annie the coxswain and her amazing steering ability. There are also bridge pilings, and other boats, and the shore. Wonderful things to try to avoid. Being in bow was a constant panic attack. Thankfully I was moved to stroke. I think the previous sentence was the reason.
So tomorrow the goal is to go out on the skugal and do it again. Better than today.
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